Just one step…

Sometimes, it feels like too much. Too big. Too far. When we look at where we are, today, and try to see where we hope to end up. Or where God’s told us we’ll end up, for that matter. It can feel too big for us to bridge that gap on our own.

The good news? You’re right. It is. The better news? We aren’t meant to do it alone. Ever. That’s not the way this works.

In reality, God has this whole plan set up. And part of that plan depends on us being dependent on Him. If we try to do it solo, we’ll fall flat on our faces. And I’ve been there, it hurts. Trust me.

That all changed a few years ago.

You see, God and I haven’t always had the relationship we do today. It sort of had to come full circle. My earliest memory is of a conversation I had with God when I was about three years old. And given the casual nature of how I talked with Him, I’d say it definitely wasn’t unusual to have these kind of chats. I had a fierce, unquestionable faith because I KNEW God. He was as much a part of my day as my mom was, or my grandparents were. As I grew up in the Catholic church, I questioned a lot of the Church’s teachings and practices. Why were they so exclusionary? Why did they seem to contradict themselves? I grew to understand that this was not where I belonged. When I finally left the Catholic church, I did so with the (misguided) understanding that leaving the Church meant I had to leave God behind, too. For years, I was spiritually misplaced. I wandered through theologies and sacred texts, searching for a home for this faith of mine. I used words like “Universe” and “Source,” but God just waited patiently for me to realize that he’d never changed, never left my side.

I started going through some major health issues — a “health crisis,” one doctor called it. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with me or why I was in so much pain. I quickly found myself spending most of my days laid up on the couch, held hostage in my own body. I had a lot of time for soul searching and truth finding. My spirituality was called into question by this crisis, and I found myself gravitating back toward some of my old loves: prayer journaling and painting. And in the midst of it all, I found God again.

The floodgates burst open, and all that divine love came pouring out. I saw the truth: that God had never left my side, that He was just there waiting for me to turn back to Him the whole time. I had found my way home.

Since then, He has taught me to follow His lead. Don’t get me wrong — I still argue. A lot. But I know that His way is better than mine, and so as He lays out the next step, I take it. One by one. And in that series of small, seemingly insignificant steps, I’ve found myself miles from where I started. Both spiritually speaking and physically!

You may be looking around you today, thinking that you are NOT where you want to be, or not where you feel like you’re meant to be. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. Because the best news of all is that if you let Him, God can take you exactly where He wants you…just one step at a time.

xo,